The proposal - now how is THAT supposed to work?

Once I realized that marrying Calvin was a very real part of my future, the questions started. Would I propose to him, or would he propose to me? When and where should it happen? And should there be engagement rings? Clearly 100 years of Hollywood's boy-meets-girl-and-gets-married films hadn't prepared me for this.



Hollywood didn't do a very good job in
helping me prepare for proposing to Calvin.


I decided to take the initiative and propose. Okay, one decision down, a million more to go. How would I go about it? A song and full-length music video a la Danny Rose? Perhaps get my former comrades from the Chicago Spirit Brigade to help me create a unique stunt-inspired proposal? Clearly a public display was necessary - after all, big moments involve a flash mob, don't they?

So for weeks I went over ideas in my head, discarding each one as impractical, ridiculous, or both.

Finally I decided on something that seemed a bit more reasonable. I would set up a surprise party for his birthday (early October) and in front of all our friends I would get down on one knee and propose. Tasteful, but not over the top (it would be filmed, of course).

Then, while gleefully assembling my proposal "event," I was hit with a cold slap of reality. A mutual friend let me know that Calvin had shared with her that if I ever proposed to him in a big public setting, he would say "No."

What?

Okay, perhaps I hadn't taken into account Calvin's generally quiet, reserved nature. But still, I was mad. Fuming. How dare he inadvertently ruin my proposal?

And in the days that followed, I thought more about the entire idea. What was I thinking? My proposing to Calvin was between the two of us. Why did I think it needed to be a public event? Was this about love or about my ego?

I ultimately came up with a new plan. On Christmas Eve of 2013 I took him out to a nice dinner, and in a private booth I read him a list of all the reasons why I loved him, and then I asked him to marry me. He said "yes."

Then he looked at me oddly.

"Why the look?" I asked.

He smiled and said "I was going to propose to you tomorrow. Who in the world proposes on Christmas Eve?"

We laughed. We were on the same wavelength, just a few hours apart.

Despite my initial dreams of proposing to Calvin
in a big public setting with a flash mob, I ultimately
proposed over a simple, private dinner at The Elite Café.